Living in the Future: Things My Kids May Never Say

During my lifetime many things have changed. Fashion, technology, food processing, and the cost of living are all dramatically different from my child hood. In some ways the world has progressed and in other ways we have regressed. In some cases items have simply been rebranded, repackaged, relabeled, and sold on shelves again. In order to illustrate those changes here are some questions or phrases that I may never hear from my children.

  • Can I have a quarter for the payphone?
  • I missed that, could you please rewind the video tape?
  • This video game doesn’t work, can you blow on it?
  • The TV went off the air.

Off the air

  • Turn on the radio.
  • Can I get a Hotmail account?
  • Daddy can you tear me out a dollar?

Food Stamps

  • Let’s go get some penny candy.
  • Can you fix the crate in the alley?

Crate rim

  • Can we have spam for breakfast and potted meat for lunch?
  • Don’t forget to pick up some Ecto Cooler.
  • Can I have my birthday party at Showbiz Pizza?
  • Can we go pick up that new Zenith TV from Zayre?
  • Could you turn the knob to the other channel?
  • Daddy what’s the difference between VHF and UHF?

Tube TV

  • Daddy can you fix the ribbon on the typewriter?
  • Where’s the Polaroid?
  • Can we get some film for this camera?
  • Do we have any more needles so I can play this 45?
  • I’m going to go play with my Silly Putty.
  • Can I have a glowworm for Christmas?
  • I want Ninja Turtles for for my birthday.
  • I’ll meet you at the terminal before you take off.
  • Can I borrow 10 dollars to fill up the tank?
  • I can’t wait to play Oregon Trail today at school.
  • Can I borrow $1.25 for a Super Transfer? (For Chicagoans)
  • Do we have any tokens left for the EL? (For Chicagoans)
  • Can you wake me up when this picture finishes downloading?
  • I can’t find my Jheri curl cap.
  • Can I wear your Bulls Starter jacket?

Starter jacket

  • I love wearing leg warmers.
  • Is that a triple fat goose you’re wearing?
  • Who said you could wear my Cross Colours jacket?
  • Dad can I borrow your Karl Kani jeans?
  • Can I get a new shirt from Ventures?
  • He had some fresh Pro Wings on.
  • Can we get the new British Knights?
  • Check out my fresh Reebok Pumps!

Reebok Pumps

  • Those NBA retro shorts are back in style.
  • Do you have an AOL disk I can borrow?
  • Let’s go pick up some movies from Blockbuster.
  • I want to check out a nice car from the Saturn dealership.
  • JW has the best jeans.
  • Where is the White Out?
  • I need a 10 pack of floppy discs for school.
  • While you are out, can you scoop me up a Trapper Keeper?
  • Here is some cologne I ordered from Avon.
  • Pee Wee Herman is hilarious!
  • Can we watch Cartoon Express?
  • What time does Pinwheel come on Nickelodeon?
  • How do we get on the Bozo show?
  • The shows on TV are awesome and high quality.
  • Page Me.

This blog is co-written by Isaac Akins III, Danny Cochran, Clarence J. Evans, JeVaughn Martin, Antoine Peterson

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